


Nothing Bad Ever Happens at a Roller Rink

by thilesluna



Series: Online Dating AU [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Grillems - Freeform, M/M, online dating au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-01
Updated: 2016-05-01
Packaged: 2018-06-05 14:42:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,838
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6709060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thilesluna/pseuds/thilesluna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Gross,” Bruce grimaces as he leads them toward the building. “You’re not going to get a fungal infection. They clean the skates. Besides, nothing bad ever happens at a roller rink.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing Bad Ever Happens at a Roller Rink

James and Bruce meet on a dating app because James was forced to join when Elyse got tired of him hitting on all the guys and girls she’s trying to hook up with—“James, again? REALLY??” But James is an asshole so he opens with the shittiest pickup lines and other bullshit and most of the people he messages don’t even respond half the time, which is a damn shame he thinks, because have you SEEN his eyes (and his ass, like damn)?

But through some cosmic stroke of luck or whatever other ineffable power source for the world, there’s this one guy who responds to one of the more idiotic things James sends.

Bruce.

Bruce with his brown eyes, his beard, and his dumb, gorgeous smile.

James is totally fucked from the second they start chatting about marshmallows because he feels like he’s got someone who matches with him so well that it’s actually kind of scary. James’ sense of humor is kind of…warped—sometimes in a way that is off-putting to other people. He can be loud and a little bit offensive and sometimes he takes jokes a little bit _past_ the point where they’re funny. Somehow, though, this doesn’t seem to happen with Bruce. They’re compatible in a way that makes them _both_ go too far with jokes—far enough where it eventually circles back around to being fucking funny again.

Even though they haven’t met in person yet, they’ve talked on the phone and over skype, once for _two goddamn hours_ and only realized they’d been on for so long when Elyse stomped into his room and demanded he “stop giggling like a schoolgirl because _some people have work in the morning, JAMES_.”

James is totally fucked in every way except the way he wants to be. Which is _literally_.

See, Bruce has a crazy schedule and James is constantly going away for work so while they’ve been building their relationship—they had the “talk” over text just last week and James doesn’t want to think about the way his stomach was in knots and then the utter elation he felt when Bruce said _yes_ because to think about it would admit that he’s in so, so, so deep—they haven’t actually gone on a date or even _met_ in person.

But _that_ is about to change.

~~~

“You’re acting so weird about this,” Elyse says, her head hanging upside down off James’ bed.

“ _You’re_ acting weird about it,” James mumbles from inside a sweater he hasn’t worn in probably a year and a half. “Outfits are annoying and I hate clothes. Can’t I just go naked?”

“I mean, I’m sure Bruce wouldn’t mind,” Elyse says thoughtfully. “But I think the police frown on public nudity.”

James pulls off the sweater violently, throws it back at the closet. “Elyse, you’re not helping.”

“James. You’re a hot piece of ass. And for whatever reason, this Bruce guy thinks you’re like, a decent human person,” she tuts, rolling off the bed. “He won’t give a shit what you’re wearing.”

“But—“

“James Willems, get your head out of your ass! Why are you freaking out?”

James pouts at her. “I just—I don’t know, I just really like him.” He fiddles with the dark v-neck he pulled from his drawer.

“Oh, buddy.” Elyse crosses over to him and pulls him into a hug. “He likes you too. Don’t freak out about this. I know it’s easy for me to say that but you’re a serious catch and if he fucks it up, I’ll bust in pretending to be an angry wife that you’re cheating on.”

James laughs. “Elyse. He knows what you look like. Plus you’re my best friend so I’ve told him basically everything about you.”

She waves her hand dismissively. “Fine, I’ll have Adam do it.”

They laugh together at the thought of Kovic playing the jealous house-husband and James wonders for the millionth time how he got so lucky.

~~~

Bruce picks the date. James just has an address and a time and he takes his bike. When he rolls up to the address, he thinks he’s got it wrong somehow because he’s outside a…roller rink? He doesn’t have time to dwell on it though because as he sets down his helmet, he feels a hand on his arm.

“James?” He turns and Bruce is smiling broadly at him. _God_ , he looks so much better in person. Bruce laughs.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” says James, his ears burning red.

“You definitely didn’t _not_ say it out loud.”

James makes a show of reaching for his helmet. “Okay, great. This was an awesome first date, I think I’m going to go home now and lock myself in the bathroom for an hour—or the rest of my life.”

Bruce laughs again and it’s the best sound James thinks he’s ever heard. It’s like the most beautiful, wheezing and James didn’t even know real people laughed like that. When he finally catches his breath, Bruce grins at him, eyes crinkling. “Nah, don’t do that!” He looked down at James’ bike. “But I am curious…where’s the Mustang? I mean, I brought some marshmallows—“ and he actually _did_ because he’s pulling a bag out from somewhere like magic “—so how are we supposed to make s’mores with no car fire?”

James snorts out a laugh of his own. “Well you knew my secret so if we really did that, it wouldn’t be the surprise I wanted it to be.”

“Makes sense,” Bruce says with a sage nod. “I guess you’ll have to surprise me with it on a later date.”

The thought of Bruce already planning later dates makes something in James’ stomach feel all giddy. “Yeah,” he says gesturing to the roller rink. “I mean, you did pick this date so I gotta have an opportunity next time.”

Bruce seems to remember where they are and he smiles sheepishly. “Is this okay? I know it’s kind of weird, but I really like the skate and it’s pretty fun.”

“Yeah,” James says, a twinkle in his eye. “I’m not super great at it but when I’m falling down all the time it’ll just give me an excuse to grope you on the way down!”

Bruce rolls his eyes but he’s grinning and his cheeks are turning pink and good _damnit_ , he’s adorable. “Oh, _jeeze._ Don’t worry,” he teases. “I’ll hold your hand so you don’t fall over, you baby.”

James puts on his most innocent face. “Oh, Bruce, that’s so _kind_.” He links his arm in Bruce’s. “Lead the way, big guy. Hey, if I get like, the worst fungal infection from these rented skates, will you rub lotion on my feet?”

“Gross,” Bruce grimaces as he leads them toward the building. “You’re not going to get a fungal infection. They clean the skates. Besides, nothing bad ever happens at a roller rink.”

~~~

 _Nothing_ might have been too strong of a word, James thinks, sitting in the hospital waiting room.

 _Nothing_ might have been better replaced by “James losing his balance and falling to the ground and accidentally pulling Bruce with him and then a large beefy man wearing shorts that were bordering on _too_ short skating OVER Bruce’s middle finger and James has seen enough smashed fingers to know that the thing is definitely broken even though Bruce is trying not to make a big about it and continue their date”.

So yeah, _nothing_ might not be the best word choice, James thinks as he’s busy spiraling down into a fit of “James you _idiot_ ”. The nurse walks Bruce out of x-ray and over to where he’s sitting. “He’s all set,” she chirps—way to happy sounding for James’ taste, and giving Bruce these lingering looks that make that ugly thing in James’ heart clench.

“Uh, thanks—yeah,” he shoot back intelligently as she walks them back to their tiny room to wait. He swears he sees her making knowing eye contact with one of the other nurses who just giggles behind her hands. Bruce looks nervous and kind of ashamed—which, hello, he’s the one with the broken finger so what the heck does he have to be ashamed of? James is the cause of all this—of ruining their first date and _literally breaking Bruce’s bones_.

“I’ll leave you to it,” she says, and gracefully sweeps from the room.

Bruce wiggles his way on to the exam table, his hand carefully cradled in his lap so he doesn’t jostle the ice pack too much. The paper crinkles loudly in the quiet room. They both start to talk at the same time.

“I—“

“Listen—“

James sighs. “You go first?” he says with a small smile. He’s fully expecting Bruce to chew him out and say that he never wants to go on another date.

Bruce shrugs and then swallows thickly. “I’m so sorry,” he finally mumbles.

“You’re what?”

“Sorry,” Bruce repeats. “I totally fucked up this first date, didn’t I? I mean, I just wanted to do something fun and I should have asked first but I was really excited to meet you.”

James stares at him. “Bruce—“

“I just really like you? You’re so great and now we’re in a _hospital_ instead of out getting to know each other better and having fun, and—“

“Bruce, stop,” James interrupts, taking a step toward where the other man is sitting. “This literally could not be _farther_ from your fault.”

“But I—“

“But _nothing_! You didn’t ask to get you finger crushed by Shorty McShort-shorts! And I literally pulled you down! I mean it was an accident, but it’s not like you wanted to get out of our date so you broke your finger!” James puts on a fake serious tone, “You _didn’t_ did you?”

Bruce laughs—no wheezes—“No, of course not!”

“Well then,” James says, “That settles it. Not your fault and also, I am a great date who you didn’t want to ditch.” He takes another step toward the table. “Plus, if you look at it this way, we are totally learning more about each other! Like, now I know what kind of health insurance you have. And that you’re not allergic to any medications! So many new things!”

Bruce is losing it, his eyes scrunched up and his shoulders jumping as he laughs. “I guess you’re right,” he giggles. He reaches out with his good hand to tug James closer until he’s standing right next to the table. “You’re the best ride to the hospital I’ve ever had.”

“Huh…” says James.

“What?”

“Well it’s just when I usually hear that, the sentence doesn’t have the “to the hospital” part in it,” he says wiggling his eyebrows.

Bruce groans and gets a hand on the front on James’ shirt. “You’re the worst.”

“Am not.”

“Are too,” Bruce says, nodding and pulling him down to his level. “Now shut up and kiss me, you idiot.”

James doesn’t have to be told twice.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on tumblr @scrob-lord


End file.
